Mental Health Archives - Inspired Forward

May 17, 2018 by Colleen Mitchell

The Stress Associated with Type 1 Diabetes

I’ve mentioned before that I have Type 1 Diabetes. Put simply, that means my pancreas doesn’t produce insulin, and I have to give myself that insulin. I use an insulin pump, but others do injections.

For the sake of simplicity, I’m going to say “diabetes” and mean Type 1. Type 2 is a different disease.

Diabetes is considered an invisible illness. There are no outward, physically visible symptoms that show up. Unless you’re a regular Sherlock, one look at me wouldn’t tell you that I’m a diabetic.

My insulin pump is so slim that it hides neatly under my clothes. My CGM sensor sits on my arm, a little bump that’s usually unnoticeable.

But I see it all. I feel all the highs and the lows.

I feel the stress.

Diabetes isn’t a joke – it can kill people. Being too high or too low can spell disaster. The magic is hitting the sweet spot with my blood sugars – making them look like this:

I believe that my diabetes gave my mom gray hair. She woke up in the middle of the night every night to check my blood sugar when I was a kid. I sometimes wonder if she still wakes up at 2 AM thinking she has to go check me.

That’s what diabetes does to people.

It trains you into a new “normal” that never goes away.

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May 3, 2018 by Colleen Mitchell

How to Recognize Fundamental Attribution Error

Have you ever heard the phrase “Fundamental Attribution Error” before? Put simply, it’s the term for when you attribute someone’s behavior to their character rather than their outside circumstances. Alternatively – holding someone else to a higher standard than you hold yourself.

Why could this be dangerous, and why is it called an error?

Unless you’re a saint on the road, everyone who drives falls victim to Fundamental Attribution Error.

On your drive to work, you get cut off. You honk at the offender, cursing his bad decision-making and decide he (or she) must be the stupidest driver to ever pass the licensing exam.

Of course, you would NEVER cut someone off.

Except…you did. Yesterday.

Perhaps… perhaps the person who just made a poor driving decision is late to a meeting. Maybe he’s rushing to the hospital to see his dying grandmother before she passes away.

Now, I’m not excusing his bad driving. I’m saying that there are other reasons to make poor decisions than innate character.

Unless you're a saint on the road, everyone who drives falls victim to Fundamental Attribution Error. Click To Tweet

When you cut someone off, you grimace and squeal “Sorry!!” even though they can’t hear you. You rationalize your decision based on external factors, like how late you are to work. It makes you feel better about what just happened, but the driver YOU just cut off is now thinking you’re the dumbest driver that ever lived.

We all do it.

And it’s dangerous.

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April 19, 2018 by Colleen Mitchell

What You Need to Know About Gaslighting

You’re not crazy, insane, or overreacting. You’re human.

This is what you should remember when someone gaslights you.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is when someone does or says something, and later tells you it didn’t happen the way you remember it or even happen at all.

It’s also the term for when you move all the living room furniture an inch to the left every day and act like your parents are crazy for stubbing their toes every night on the coffee table.

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Here’s an example:

Your mother-in-law makes a comment that you’re an unfit mother and that your child should live with her instead.

You react: “Excuse me?! WTF did you just say??”

“What? I didn’t say anything. You must have imagined it. You’re clearly overreacting to-” she huffs, “-SOMEthing.”

That’s gaslighting.

You're not crazy, insane, or overreacting. You're human. Click To Tweet

You have every right to feel upset because this person is insisting that you’re remembering wrong – or no, it didn’t even happen.

The definition of “gaslight” as a verb is “to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.”

When you think of it like that, it’s so insidious and dark.

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April 5, 2018 by Colleen Mitchell

How to Break the Cycle of Self-Invalidation

Let me set the scene.

Amanda has forgotten to do something she promised to do. When she realizes this and apologizes, promising again that she’ll do it, she’s met with hostility and anger. There are two other people in the room besides herself and the angry one, and they’re watching the scene impassively.

Amanda’s hurt.

While she knows it’s her fault for forgetting her promise, she’s just been verbally abused and none of the bystanders did anything to stop it.

In fact, when Amanda’s husband later confronted them, they said, “She must just be tired.”

Excuse me?

What just happened?

Amanda’s feelings were invalidated.

As if her feelings didn’t matter. As if her emotions were driven by feeling tired, instead of actual hurt inflicted upon her.

What’s even worse is that a lot of the time, we do this to ourselves.

Well, what does that look like? In fact, it’s pretty easy to spot. Most of the time it starts with “I shouldn’t” or “I should”.

I shouldn’t feel so tired and stressed out. Other people have it worse than me.
I shouldn’t feel excited about this victory – I’ll look so egotistical and arrogant.
It’s okay to take on more things than I can really handle because my boss is counting on me.
My weight loss isn’t as dramatic as a lot of people’s; I shouldn’t show too many people or they’ll think I’m just looking for attention.
Ugh. I need to just get over this.
I don’t deserve to feel bad about my life situation.
I’d mess up that presentation so badly – someone else should give it.

Sound familiar?

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January 25, 2017 by Colleen Mitchell

How To Keep Calm When Job Disaster Strikes

Losing your job can be one of the most stressful things people experience. This isn’t to say that there are more stressful things to go through, but for many folks this is the thing that breaks them. Being prone to anxiety and worry myself, I had to learn how to keep calm when my job disaster struck.

It doesn’t matter how your job disaster comes around. The stress involved with it centers around one thing: you’re going from stable to unstable; income to no income. It can happen to anyone. Don’t assume that your loyalty to your company or all your hard work will protect you. Let me share some strategies that helped me cope and keep calm when my own job disaster hit.

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