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If you find yourself in a relationship where your partner just doesn't want to make the journey with you, you might be dealing with a dog on the porch.
Photo by Jason Lee

Have you ever realized that despite the effort you put into helping another person with the changes that would better their life, they refuse? Well, that person is the dog on the porch.

Changing people is something we cannot achieve no matter how hard we try; the only exception is if they are willing to do the work and have voluntarily asked.

The ironic part of all of this is I believe people do want to change. However, the moment they start to think of the effort, time, energy, and the underlying risk, many will decide to stay in their comfort zone. Besides, isn’t it easier to stay with the masses where a boxed lifestyle is everyone’s way of being?

We Have Two Options

In the world today, we truly only have two options:

  1. Accept those for who they are. (It does not mean we must approve of their beliefs or behavior)
  2. Or, distance ourselves from them.

It’s a formula known as: E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome) where you can blame the event for your lack or you can change your responses to the events until you get the outcome you want.

Photo by Sarah Crawford on Unsplash

The Dog on the Porch

This leads me to my story of the dog on the porch.

In life, some of us grow naturally while others don’t. This is where you become distorted with another and you begin to separate yourself. Too many people ignore the warnings and remain on the porch with the dog, hoping or wishing that they would want the same things (which is to go to the park).

While they are content with sitting on the porch, you respond in a number of ways to this event and always get the same outcome.

However, you fail to remember you only have control over you and your actions. You now realize you have wasted all your time trying to convince someone else (who you don’t control) to go to the park with you.

This resistance you are feeling was caused by you responding to the event in the wrong manner. It’s simple if you ask once: “Let’s go to the park” and they reply they don’t want to. You might challenge their response, then after they reply again, you must respond in a way that will provide you with the outcome you desire.

Photo by Jason Lee

We Can Only Control Ourselves

While we want to believe we can control everything or everyone, we can’t. If you dig a little deeper you’ll discover you can not infringe on another person’s spiritual journey. It’s a law governed by the universe—you can try, but it almost never conveys positive results for either party involved.

Finally, you must come to terms that you are 100% responsible for your actions, your life, and how you react to the circumstances. Placing blame on your outer world is how many of us are conditioned to operate (pinning the blame on others).

What we must understand is that the real problem is with ourselves and not with the dog on the porch.


Meet the Author

If you find yourself in a relationship where your partner just doesn't want to make the journey with you, you might be dealing with a dog on the porch.
Photo by Jason Lee

Doris Hobbs is known as the Glamourous Diabetic. She’s a marketing expert who works with luxury brands and uses her platform, Rich in Love Fashion, to spread awareness about both types of diabetes.

Listen to our interview with Doris here.

Doris colors outside the lines and “doesn’t play by the rules.” She’s had diabetes for over 5 years.

Connect with Doris on InstagramFacebookLinkedIn, and Twitter. She also has a YouTube show called “Dose of Doris.” 

About the author 

Inspired Forward

Mindset & accountability life coach, writer, podcaster, and full-time analyst in the power industry. I'm passionate about showing people that how we think determines our realities.

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